Oct 3 2019


Animas River Trail

This photo reminds me of how ever-changing life is. This photo was taken 9.26.19 and by today, 10.3.19, the scenery has changed drastically. The Animas River (in Durango, CO) is covered by gold glory right now. These green leaves are gone.

“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is most adaptable to change.”

-Charles Darwin

All this Colorado “gold” (yellow and orange leaves) immediately made me hone in on my chakras. I felt this mix wanting to tap in on my sacral chakra (orange) and solar plexus (yellow).

Oh and please don’t stop reading if you aren’t located in Colorful Colorado – the fall / autumn ‘colors’ are all over the United States (not Costa Rica, however, and I do have to admit I truly missed this season -but I did not miss that Texas ragweed-). Do you see these colors today?


The orange sacral chakra is motivated by pleasure (hello hiking)! It’s the driving force force for the enjoyment of life through the senses (hello hiking)! By clearing blockages in your sacral chakra, you are able to “feel” the world around and in you (hello hiking). It’s such an important energy point at the foundation of our feeling of well-being (hello hiking… is that getting old (ok, i’ll stop)?. It’s also instrumental in developing flexibility in our life (change). Associated with the water element, it’s characterized by movement and flow in our emotions and thoughts. To live like water, to live in that change.

“Change is the only constant in life.”


Back to the chakras – the yellow solar plexus allows you to know yourself and live with confidence and strength. If balanced, it will allow you to know YOU (and others – without judgement or criticism). Hiking helps me find that.


Yesterdays jaunt reminded me of what little we actually need witnessing the changes and via the eyes of my children. They were so excited to move back to the states and get into storage and rediscover their “stuff”. They asked for “it” for a few days, but seeing that their “stuff” is still in a crate… I’m guessing they are dealing with the change.

Horse Gulch

It’s just stuff. It’s as simple as that. I went a little coo coo on a few occassions. I cried to D and then excused myself from the house and went to town. I also cried to my parents (but that was more about me not feeling good and maybe also bc everything is covered in sheet rock dust). I just needed to cry. I was in a moment of rough waters of change.

  • I am in lots of uncertainties. I am in change.
  • I am uncertain where my clothes are. I am in change.
  • I am uncertain of why I feel tired all the time. I am in change.
  • I am uncertain of how to get my spine from curving. I am in change.
  • I am uncertain about bacteria and parasites that keep showing up. I am in change.
  • I am uncertain about the spirit the exorcism dr pulled from me. I am in change.
  • I am uncertain why my hand is stiff. I am in change.
  • I am uncertain why I try to be healthy and yet, I feel this way. I am in change.

But my kids have shown me that they masterfully and beautifully glide through uncertainty and change. They don’t ask about the crate anymore, or their beds or why we don’t have doors. They just snuggle and smile. 

Note: we did get them bikes and a cat so it’s not like they have absolutely “nothing” to play with. Both can be freely enjoyed on the property. 

I’ve also realized that right now is the time to live my best life – no matter the change. Today is the day to fall in love with today. Living in the moment and smiling. Growth is happening. Peace is happening. Change is happening.

Keep wishing and a hoping and a praying (jotting down notes if you need – that is amazing). But what about also just continuously and mentally noting the amazingness of this very moment. 

Mmmmmmm — me in my head — (note: it’s 4:30am and I’m in front of our only heater with a coffee and a candle trying not to wake the other 8 house guests (okay, 3 are animals), but still I don’t want to wake any of them.


  • Thank you for allowing us to get doors yesterday. 
  • Thank you, parentals, for ordering a heater (for their apartment) so I can sit in the kitchen with this coffee and candle and jot away in my computer (ha – I’m grateful the internet is down… maybe).
  • I’m grateful that despite my weird health, I was able to do yoga this morning. 
  • I am grateful for Memphis — he gives the best hugs, snuggles, love, and calming effect. Oh he is so delicious. I got sad last night thinking about all the hikes he would have loved to go on with me, but I smile and the thought of all the hikes he went on with me. Once I can figure out a ramp — I’m taking him out for some short ones! I think that will be our best life together. He is part of my soul. He sees me. He’s always looked into my eyes with such deep love. He’s an old man now, but he’s known me longer than my even husband and children. 
  • I am grateful for Marynn who just woke up and asked me to blow the air mattress up (it has a hole). 
Marynn + Memphis + Mattress
  • I am grateful for Will sneaking into my bed (well, mattress on the floor) with me bc their air mattress deflates and Marynn & Memphis end up on top of him.I am grateful for my parents being here — mom cooking, dad building cabinets, and the two of them showing the kids things we don’t. I am also grateful that we are able to provide them a space in our home that will be theirs (Lightner Creek Apartment). 
  • I am grateful for fall to witness my favorite colors. 
  • I am grateful for the Catrick Swayze. I think. I’m still getting to the litter box thing.
  • I’m grateful for ‘those’ that pop into my head upon writing this hokie-pokie-ness.
  • I am grateful for you. Thanks for being a part of riding this wave of change with me.