Oh End-Of-September… what have you done?
Ideas, fears, thoughts and vulnerabilities are twirling and swirling inside.
S Q U I R R E L: Speaking of vulnerability, have you listened to Brene’ Brown’s Power of Vulnerability TED Talk?
So… BAM! It hits me. I finally look at the calendar and realize it’s the 2018 Autumn Equinox and a Harvest Moon! Happy Fall Y’all!
Besides ragweed in Texas – that is not kind to me – fall is a gorgeous (actually my favorite) time of year that I miss tremendously. I miss watching the kids and D rake the leaves (Yep, I’m the supervisor. The Big Guy does not let me touch his yard or his 60+ bags of live oak tree leaves). I miss wearing boots and jeans… and layers! I miss all my Capricorn-self neutral colors blasted everywhere (or is Christmas stuff overwhelming it all – say it ain’t so – please).
S Q U I R R E L… this Capricorn is turning 40 this year by the way! Ho Ho Ho!
I do NOT, however, miss me trying to have a glass of wine on our Anniversary (10 years tomorrow – September 27th – what what) and my face puffing up and turning into a ‘I wanna scratch it off’ situation – “CHEERS H O N E Y – “NOW LET’S GO HOME”. God forbid I’d actually smarten up and take something for my ragweed allergies (instead, I moved).
The ironic part is I’m writing about a fall realization from my rainy season view here in Costa Rica. The trees are all full and bright & green. But a girl can “have roots and wings”! Sorry Jake, they truly can (who’s with me here?)! I can! I can sit here on my ‘wing’ and look at everything perking up with also having a sense of shedding that I visualize from my ‘roots’.
I was with chatting with someone special yesterday and I felt compelled to tell ‘special person’ I wanted to write about this strong urge of shedding that I was feeling like preaching about. Those of you that have been in a class, retreat or presentation with me know I like to talk (heck every single person that knows me knows I like to talk, to preach, to not… shut… up…), but I don’t have you Texans face to face anymore. I told ‘special person’ I was trying to write about it and I just couldn’t get it together, until ‘special person’ called. Until ‘special person’ challenged me to tell her about it. Until ‘special person’ dared me to write about it.
After our conversation, it unfolded like magic. The fairy dust had been sprinkled. I finally found the vibe, the words, my thoughts.. and get this… I got it from a blog, a source, a link called, “Hallie Rose” (ignore the spelling) – it was truly meant to be! ‘Hally Rose’ is my niece by the way! It was a sign! I love my little Hally!
What I was trying to talk to ‘special person’ about was the Autumn Equinox and Harvest Moon… and Hallie Rose (Hally Rose) gave me the words. I forwarded ‘special person’ the Autumn Equinox blog post right away for this Hallie Rose chick was able to write about what I was trying express (And because vulnerability is hard for me, writing is hard for me. I am not a writer so I just think about how people will judge me, however, I have so much I want to say (So. Much. To. Say,). You see… I am in need of a little shedding of that which holds me back. All the times I tell myself I am not enough and wait until it’s perfect… and then the perfect never comes. Do you see why Brené is so important to me. I need her. I hide in the corner. I don’t dance in public like nobody is watching. I need more Brené). Okay, let’s dive in:
- Autumn Equinox: “Shed your leaves, or the nest of busy things that demand your attention, you may feel bare, vulnerable, or uncomfortable. Taking a leap and making a change are scary things. Suddenly, the tree, once surrounded in lush emerald robes, is now bare. Naked and alone it experiences a period of darkness: the cold of winter. The tree may think, “Leaves, come back! I miss you.”. But one day the tree wakes up and sees a lovely view: “I would have missed this view had I not shed my leaves.”. Shedding what doesn’t serve us is always scary. But in order to invite new opportunities, relationships, and challenges into our lives we must clear space for them. New leaves can’t grow unless we let the old ones go.Sometimes our lives feel so full there doesn’t seem to be room for anything else. We have the job, the partner, children, pets, activities, renovations, and social commitments. Sometimes we find ourselves going through the motions. A whole week passes and we ask ourselves, “What did I do for myself this week?”. Our lives are too full. We make excuses, “I don’t have time to [journal, paint, exercise, work on my novel, be in nature], I’m just too busy.” As humans, I think we are comfortable being busy. The busy things in our lives are like our leaves: they surround us, keep us feeling warm, useful, and shield us from the scary unknown. This busy work can seem impressive, and keep us looking good on the outside: isn’t a lush green tree more beautiful than a bare one? As a tree, taking care of the leaves is our duty. Right? You see, “Trees actually go through a process called abscission whereby specialized cells stop sending water to the leaves and the tree actually reabsorbs its nutrients. This fortifies the tree for the dark days of winter. Interestingly, the word abscission comes from the same root word as “scissors:” scindere, which means “to cut” or “split.” In this way leaves do not just “fall” from the trees, they are released with purpose, cut away rather than blown off by the wind; I think this bears a certain intentionality.”
You see, sitting here thinking about ‘fall’ & thinking about this Harvest Moon and the Autumn Equinox in two countries simultaneously is mind blowing for me. I can shed with the leaves in Texas and bloom like the trees in Costa Rica. It’s so goose-bumpy to me!
Oh and about the full moon:
- Harvest Moon: “Full moons are powerful, they are about a change in season. During full moons, all parts of life – light and dark – get illuminated, and is an opportunity to do some emotional cleaning. This Full Harvest Moon rises in the astrological sign of Virgo. Astrologers believe the sign is governed by the planet Mercury and governs aspects of life and work. Eventually a series of crises, test and challenges, will perfect the skills necessary to overcome the obstacles, frustration and conflict of the opposition. The honing of the necessary life skills & learning to relate to others at the emotional level, can lead to the life-experience necessary for great achievements and success.” If you were keeping an eye on the stars this past summer, you’ll recall that things were a little, er, wild. Between all the planetary retrogrades and multiple eclipses, we had our hands full dealing with celestially inspired chaos and changes. If you take a moment this week to look back on the tumultuous summer, you’ll likely realize you learned a thing or two about rolling with the punches — and that’s always worth celebrating. If you’re hoping to use the September full moon as more than a victory lap, you’re in luck. It’ll be moving through two signs that will help you determine — and then create — your vision for the future. So, whether you’re basking in a recent triumph or preparing for your next success, this full moon will serve you in your pursuits. And, more importantly, it’ll remind you that there’s more to fall than lugging your coats out of storage.”